porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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