We're like a lot better than the average bears
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
