I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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