Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
