my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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