i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I FOUND THE LEGS
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize