We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
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