one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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