someone threw a dead crab at me
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
