3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Text me some of your sweat
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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