I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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