I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
she told me i tasted like america
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
