Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
