can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i think i just lost a toe
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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