don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
