So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
