Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
