Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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