Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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