I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
