I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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