my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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