How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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