i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
