i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
