her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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