You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
