JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
