she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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