I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
