btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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