week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
