I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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