Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
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