I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
