it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
