some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my shit smells like andre
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
