Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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