he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
