My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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