Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
