when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize