yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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