it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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