i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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