Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
