I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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