First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
