i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
