dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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