The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The Olympian is in my bed
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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