I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
