I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
