you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
