there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize